From “The World’s Cutest Dog” to Captain America’s derrière (oh, you know, Captain America’s *ss— a term made famous by Ant Man) to the “Queen of Pop,” and even the more complicated MU, FU, FF, FWB, and “char-char lang.” Labels abound.
And while I understand that labels are created to identify, categorize, and sometimes simply entertain, some labels can be more limiting— and even hurtful— than they are useful.
Case in point: Stay-at-Home Mom or simply, SAHM.
Sounds harmless enough, right? But unbeknownst to many, the term has sometimes been used in ways that diminish or belittle the very women it is meant to describe.
But tell me, how is choosing to dedicate yourself to raising your children any less valuable than joining the workforce? How is mothering any less important than a 9-to-5 job? Why should it be held against me if I choose to be there for my children 24/7 to witness their milestones, celebrate their wins, comfort them through their little losses, and simply be present for it all?
Why is it so difficult to simply be kind and respect another person's choice, especially when that choice comes with its own set of challenges, sacrifices, and responsibilities?
Because at the end of the day, we may walk different paths, but that doesn't make one person's work more valuable than another's.
I am more than just a stay-at-home mom. I am a Bubble Maker Extraordinaire.
With every breath I have exerted during bath time since time immemorial, my lungs would probably be more than ready by now to free-dive into the cenotes of Tulum, Mexico, on a single breath without breaking a sweat.
Heck, I can deep-dive into a bin of toys looking for that teensy-weensy star sticker my toddler lost while playing with my 20-year-old stationery and sticker collection.
One breath. One swift motion. And there it was.. “STAHHH!” Retrieved just in time, a millisecond before she could start throwing dagger stares at me.
But before they could even make me a sash for such distinction, I reluctantly ceded my position out of sheer exhaustion and handed the title over to a bubble gun— the real Bubble Maker Extraordinaire. I was just a second-rate trying-hard copycat.
I am more than just a stay-at-home mom. I am a “Master Chef, Legend Level.”
All thanks to my very fluffy and tasty scrambled eggs made with, well, eggs, and seasoned with salt, pepper, thyme, and rosemary, no less. Garnish it with a little more thyme and I get an even bigger “WOW!”
Ha! Easy. Giving myself a pat on the back.
My crowd favorite, crowd being my two daughters, scrambled eggs are one thing. But my Baked Baby Backribs and Chicken Bake elicit a completely different kind of reaction, one that would probably render Gordon Ramsay speechless.
Speechless with awe? Or speechless with horror at what big of an abomination I am in the kitchen? I dare not answer nor will I let this out-of-this-world imagination linger.
All I know is that my little humans love my cooking to the bone, both literally and figuratively. And no famous British chef known for throwing painful verbal digs can tell me I’m bad in the kitchen, even if I have burned my Cheesy Baked Asparagus one too many times.
I drew them a portrait: uneven eyes, a crooked nose, a half-moon smile on a seemingly enormous head. You’d probably say I’m better off drawing a stick figure. But to my little tribe, I am “The best artist in the world!” God bless their little hearts.
I even designed a gown for their bald Barbie dolls, complete with jewelry, a bag, shoes, and hair that looked more like Syndrome’s hair than Ariel’s gorgeous red locks. But just when I was about to discard it because of how terrible it looked, my daughter quipped, “You could be a designer to the stars, mom!” Why, thank you for validating mommy’s dream, my love.
I eventually threw my drawing away because, well, she always did draw better than I did.
I am more than just a stay-at-home mom. I am my toddler’s favorite self-erasing canvas— a drawing board, a whiteboard, a chalkboard, even. I have allowed her to draw on our walls, turning our bedroom into one giant mural of mostly lines and squiggles. Yet, somehow, she still prefers to turn to me when she wants to create her next obra maestra.
And I should know better than to erase her little masterpiece before presenting it to her sister and her daddy. Otherwise, this little artist instant transforms into an Oscar contender for Best Actress in a Leading Role, Drama Category. Her acting is so good, even Meryl Streep would probably be proud.
But on the upside, I don’t have to worry about all the other walls in the house anymore because Mommy is all hers for the scribbling.
And with nothing more than Qtoy’s Jumbo Rainbow Blocks, another childhood dream of mine (becoming an architect) ultimately came to fruition. In miniature scale that is.
I built them a house with no doors, just huge windows for proper ventilation and massive amounts of natural light. Instantly, I became the best architect there ever was.
They requested an attic to make it resemble our own house, and when I finally gave in to their request, oh, what joy to see their eyes light up!
Such small gestures, such big impact on their little hearts.
I am more than just image of diapers, pots, pans, school runs, laundry, and endless meals.
Because labels like “stay-at-home mom” do not, and can never, fully explain the complexities, sacrifices, joys, frustrations, and beautiful dynamics of motherhood.
I am my daughters’ constant.
I am the first thing they see in the morning and the one who tucks them into bed every night.
I am their warm hug on their off days, the one they run to when they have boo-boos, and the person they look for when they need comfort.
And on good days, which are often, I am their camping master, swimming instructor, arts-and-crafts teacher, personal chef, storyteller, chauffeur, photographer, stylist, playmate, problem-solver, and biggest cheerleader.
And perhaps that is the thing about being a stay-at-home mom; the title may sound like one job, but the job itself is a thousand roles rolled into one.
So call me a SAHM, negatively, if you must. But know that I am so much more than those four letters.
I am raising humans. I am creating memories.
I am building little hearts, little minds, and, hopefully, good people.
And that, my friends, is the only validation this stay-at-home mom needs.
